


Actually, you're less of a freak than you thought.

by orphan_account



Category: Undertale
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 23:53:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10864725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: They were looking for something, that much he could be sure of. Whether it be a lost possession or simply something he couldn't see, Sans didn't know. The problem was that whatever Frisk was looking for... it wasn't here. They weren't going to find it. The entire underground would be looping around the same day forever and they would never see the sun again. The damn kid was just so determined... they would never stop. Nothing he said could change anything and nothing Papyrus said had effect just the same. Eternal suffering for all.Hilarious.





	Actually, you're less of a freak than you thought.

Sans blankly watched his brother's boots as they trailed through the water, drawing soothing sounds into his skull to his annoyance. He didn't want to be calm, but he didn't have a choice. If he wasn't calm, he was insane. 

He was currently slung over Paps' shoulder, arms and legs hanging limply as they walked just fast enough to avoid most conversation, but slow enough to not seem like trouble. Sans couldn't really care that much though... it would reset again anyway as soon as the kid made it to Asgore. Well... they were more like a demon. 

They were looking for something, that much he could be sure of. Whether it be a lost possession or simply something he couldn't see, Sans didn't know. The problem was that whatever Frisk  _was_ looking for... it wasn't here. They weren't going to find it. The entire underground would be looping around the same day forever and they would never see the sun again. The damn kid was just so determined... they would never stop. Nothing he said could change anything and nothing Papyrus said had effect just the same. Eternal suffering for all. Surprising enough they decided to spare Pap this time. He could assume the treatment wouldn't be shared. 

Hilarious. 

Sans knew this wasn't something you were supposed to laugh at, but he couldn't really help it by now. He used to count the number of resets, seeing how many it would take the kid to leave them alone was the only entertainment he had, though he lost track somewhere around forty or fifty. The waits between each reset was the worst part. That was when he had time to think and avoid work.

Point being: he kinda started to lose his mind somewhere in those forty-fifty resets. 

Obviously he should be more careful about what he says when wandering around in his haze. It's the one where you're there and present, but completely gone. He liked not being forced to watch the same poses and lines. It felt like a bad movie constantly rewinding to play the worst parts. 

Anyway... he should be focusing. Well... what could he do? If he came up with an excuse for randomly breaking down in sobbing laughter, would it even change anything? The reset would come and then it would be like nothing even happened. His pride was probably the only thing keeping him from shutting down completely. Either that or his love for Papyrus... or some sort of apathy. 

Hilarious.

He didn't even know what he was living for anymore. 

Sans felt a chill wash over him and only shivered slightly, to prove he was alive. 

The curious stares of the Snowdin neighborhood did nothing to break the brothers' silence. Papyrus was too busy worrying over what to say and Sans was too busy chanting  _reset, reset, reset_ in his head. He didn't know how to have an emotional talk and didn't really want to bother trying if it was for nothing. He just wanted it all to stop. He wanted everything to just... stop. 

He didn't realize they were home until the door clicked shut and Papyrus' heavy sigh sent a stab to his soul. Sans wanted to comfort him, to tell him he was okay, but past experience said he wouldn't like that. 

Sans was dropped on the couch, but before he had a chance to awkwardly avoid his brother's eyes, Papyrus was already walking toward the kitchen. The short skeleton didn't bother moving; only hazy eye lights trailed after the taller brother. 

Was he going to make spaghetti at a time like this? Well he wasn't really the one to judge. Not that his opinion was ever asked by anyone but Papyrus. Everyone tended to look down on him, both literally and figuratively. Sans actually preferred it this way; it gave him both the element of surprise and plenty of space and time for himself. At least... that's what he told himself. 

If he were to go deep down-  _as deep as possible,_ to the place where he was completely honest with himself... he wasn't just bitten by the green eyed monster. He practically  _was_ the green eyed monster. Why is Undyne so powerful? Why is Alphys so smart? Why is Papyrus so open and honest?  _Why not me? Why am I different? **Why am I the only one that remembers?**_

He was jealous of their innocently blank memories and genuine smiles. Jealous that they had family and happiness. 

...not that anyone cares. 

It always had been him supporting them.

He didn't matter enough for them to care. 

Hilarious. 

"Sans?"

The short skeleton flinched, right in front of his face Papyrus was worriedly waving his hand in an effort to grab his attention, "...yeah?"

"Well..." Papyrus retrieved a colorful mug from the coffee table and held it toward him, frowning when he didn't move. "Sans it's just tea. It's good to calm the nerves. Just drink it okay? I'm worried about you." 

He nodded and silently held the mug, blankly watching his reflection in its reddish color. His imagination immediately went to crimson on gold and he chuckled. Yeah he probably wasn't okay if that was funny. 

Apparently papyrus was thinking something along the same lines, "Sans, I know you're not okay. I'm not blind." The towering skeleton took a few breaths, searching for something to say. "I just- you- I mean... I just want to help. But... you never... you never talk to anyone. You don't even..." he trembled for a moment and sniffed, pulling himself together, "you don't even talk to me. And today... that was much too jarring to ignore any longer. I thought you would come to me if I waited, but apparently you won't. So I came to you. Now Sans." Papyrus towered over him, hands planted on his hips, "I expect an answer. This has gone on long enough and all I want to do is help. So... Sans  _please._ Care about yourself for once." 

Now would be a really good time for that reset.

"Sans..." 

Anytime now. 

"...talk to me..." 

It's not like the kid ever said no to a reset before. 

"It's... i-it's okay." 

Where was it now?

" _please..."_

The mug felt like it could shatter in his tightening grip. 

Papyrus fell silent. 


End file.
